“I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.”

Myspace

Yes, I have a myspace. I know it's gay and it seems like only creepy people still go on it (since facebook is so much better). But I do occasionally check it. And to my surprise I had a few flattering inbox messages. I can't help it I'm just irresistable.

The first one was from a very intelligent young man

"hey, i kno u dont kno me but i wana get to kno you."

I dont really know how to respond to that. So i didn't. I like to keep them hanging anyways..

The next one is my fav. from someone really special..he knows how to sweet talk.

"jst wanted to say i think u are hella sexy and i would love to trade good pics wit u.......unless ur a shy girl lol"

This is just filled with class from the "hella sexy" to "good pic" to "wit you". First off I know I'm sexy thank you. Second off what the hell does good pics mean? Are you talking about nudes becuase I definately dont do that. Plus, myspace basically is just pictures...what does he think he is Chrissy VIP and I'm going to send him "special addition" Chrissy pictures. Finally, my favorite..the reference to me being a "shy girl". I bet you would like it if I were a shy girl...you pervert! And me not sending you pictures would have nothing to do with me being shy. It might have to do with the fact that I'm smart, you're creepy, and I have a little class (minus the constant reference to wangs). In no way shape or form would I not send you pictures becuase I'm shy, but rather becuase 1) you creep me out and 2) I don't send pics. period.

Then I looked at his profile out of curiosity..I wanted to know what what Prince Charming looked like..and it said he was 22. Now I just feel bad for him.

The AUDACITY people have. They think they can just message random people and ask them for pictures.

Note of the Day: Don't Myspace message people for "good pics"

Give me Jake (Gyllenhaal) or give me death!

Teachers

It's my favorite time of year--no not becuase of Christmas, snow, or holiday cheer, BUT becuase it's the time of the year where I get to evaluate all my professors/T.A.s and boy did I let them have it..haha. Actually, there were only three teachers I didn't like--not on a personal level--but rather as a teacher.

One of my teachers thought he was putting on a show every class- I felt like I was at the circus, which would be fine if I didn't get tested at the end. It's like he was always talking, but never making a point. He hardly used notes--and he did the worst thing a professor can do--change the slides before I got done copying them..that's the most annoying thing anyone can do. It enrages me and causes me to compulsively whisper FUCK to myself.

Another teacher talked so fast I couldnt even understand her (nor could the rest of the class). She would make little jokes, but no one knew what she said and she would giggle at it. She also had an annoying habbit of saying "ditto" all the freaking time which was "uber" annoying. Not to mention her powerpoint slides look like they were put together by someone with mental retardation...actually that's an insult to retarded people.

My last teacher was the worst. She was way too hard of a grader given the fact that she was a horrible teacher. It's okay if you suck at teaching-but you cant be a nazi when it comes to grading if you dont even know the material. Over all though I'd have to say my teachers weren't that bad and at least this semester I didnt have anyone who looked like a Grandma.

Note of the Day: It's cold outside.

You crack me up!

I am currently writing to you with partially frozen fingers. The reason my body is slightly frosted is due to the fact that the bus driver of the 22S Illini thought it'd be appropriate to snub me at the bus stop. I was standing at the stop, the way people are supposed to, and the bus didn't stop. I know the lady saw me because she looked at me and then continued to drive as if to say 'fuck you'. I know what you're thinking, I was probably at the wrong stop, but let me assure you I have gotten on the 22S Illini at that same stop and at that same time plenty of times before. I don't know what was wrong with that wretched old hag, but it's not my fault you're earning minimum wage driving around a bunch of snotty college kids who are going to graduate and possibly make 2x your salary. I didn't do that--you did!

On another note, I had to dodge a very lovely couple outside of Follinger Auditorium today. They were walking along like normal people when suddenly they stopped to bid each other farewell with an intimate kiss and hug..a lingering hug. I wanted to scream, "It's history class, it's not like he's going to war!" But instead I cowarded behind my giant blue Columbia winter jacket (compliments of my mom) and continued on my way.

While I was in my history class that I spoke of earlier (look above) I was surprised by how many cracks I saw in just an hour period. I saw black cracks, Asian cracks, white cracks, fat cracks, tan cracks, skinny cracks..all kind of cracks..it could be a Dr. Seuss book! I was appalled and a little disturbed ..I mean I'm not going to sit here and lie to you--yeah my crack has hung out on occasion--but not intentionally and when it did I was sure to cover it up. Now a days it's like people want you to look at it..well I don't want to look at it. So cover up your cracks it's cold out--plus you don't want your cheeks to get chapped.

Note of the day: Yeah so what, Tiger Woods is a cheater. I don't care and I'm sick of hearing about it. I mean, can you really name your kid Tiger and not expect him to be sexually aggressive?

First Post: So this should be fun.

At the age of 19, I've found myself bound to the retarded traditional rules of a traditional journalism school. As most of you know journalists are supposed to be objective. And well, my fellow weiner loving friends, that is something that is very hard for me. However, I bite my tongue and write my objective stories for my journalism classes, but I needed somewhere to write about what really goes on in this unique (slightly perverse) head.

I'm new to the world of blogging, but I don't think it can be too hard. Seeing how that very gay Paris Hilton lover does it just fine. I figure all you need is an Internet source (check) and an opinion (check). However, I will have to admit I was a little confused on how to spell Weiner. Which is very embarrassing because I have been an avid follower all my life. So I consulted my very handy Google and well it didn't help. Apparently you can spell it Weiner or Wiener...but I think Weiner does it for me..so I'll stick with Weiner. (I capitalize this word, because just like the word God, it deserves recognition). Anyways...enough about pee pees...

Here is the fun part! Where I get to share my ideas:

I recently saw New Moon. I know, I know, this is old news, but I didn't go see it right away because 1)I didn't want to act like I cared and 2) because I didn't feel like walking through all the pre-cum that all the Jr. High kids surely emitted during the feature. I found myself with mixed feelings. I felt like the $7 was definitely worth the soft core porn that is the character Jacob Black. The movie left me sexually frustrated and wondering why no one I met looked like Jacob (then it occurred to me, they're not ware wolves). I found myself very confused on how this Bella character could have two very handsome men at her disposal and yet she still kept it in her pants. I mean he saved your life, at least give him a little head. Then I realized she must have been on her period for most of the movie, which is probably why it was extremely hard for Edward's brother to be around her. Bella's "nightmares" sounded more like wet dreams to me. The overacting in those scenes was absurd and I couldn't help but literally LOL. All in all, I felt like I was watching The Hills..why? BECAUSE NOTHING HAPPENED. There were some very awkward kissing scenes (accompanied by moans), suicide attempts by Bella, and a whole lot of 'roid rage. That's my two cents on that.

Note of the Day: I know you like your boyfriend, but is it necessary to hold hands from ACROSS the table? I don't care if you're happy--just keep it to yourself.