Weiners

I'm finally back to my old self--so time for an update.

I don't know if you all have heard all the hootin' and hollerin' about changing the texture and shape of hot dogs to "prevent the chances of them getting lodged into a youngster's throats."(New York Times) Personally, I am outraged. First off, the shape and texture is the best thing about a hot dog (and yes it's because it looks like a schlong). Is it my fault that you're kid doesnt know how to deep throat a hot dog? What's next, people's weiners have to come with "caution" signs. There is nothing wrong with the shape of a hot dog. The things people come up with these days. There are several things you can do to prevent choking on a weiner. If the hot dog changes it's shape I will be the first to be on the steps of congress protesting. What's next carrots? SAUSAGE? BANANAS?

How dumb are the american people where they have to have a label on food that says "you might choke"... you might choke on anything. In that case, everything has a risk. They should put labels on cars that say "you might crash". Or labels on motorcycles that say "you're an idiot"..not that I dont like motorcycles..okay I hate motorcycles.

Is it my fault that "youngsters" don't know how to swallow? NO! These kids can cut up the hotdogs into slices and eat them in small portions..and if you dont like it I will cut up your weiner into slices. ( not really, weiner nation loves weiners).

ohh and ps- Tabacco causes lung cancer..we all know this, it's general knowledge..and people still smoke anyways. So those "truth" commercials should really be targeting the public and not the tabacco companies.People want to smoke--there's a demand..someone is going to provide it. It's not the advertisements--it's the public--they're stupid!

ps- everytime i look at Drake all i can think is "crippled kid from degrassi"
http://sarahmorrisonsblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/jimmy-drake.jpg
You can't make my bedrock..you can't even walk. Who's the fucking best now!?

Winter...

I don't know about anyone else, but I am sick of winter. But mostly, I am sick of winter break. I do nothing. Matter of fact the past two days I haven't even put on a bra. I have to today becuase I am going to a movie, but you bet your ass as soon as I come home it will return to it's position in my drawer. Another thing I can't stand about this winter is the ridiculous amount of times every radio station plays Bad Romance and You belong with Me. Like we get it. How many times do you have to play those stupid songs. They can play the 19 year old goody two-shoes' song and a wanna be weirdo lady gaga, but MJ's classics sit on the shelf gathering dust.

I guess my problem with Lady GaGa is that her whole weirdness is an act. And as a weird person I find this as an insult that she is acting a certain way to get attention. If you look at videos of her before the Glory Days she is hardly as much of a freak as she is now. I guess if she was normally weird I wouldn't mind. Lady GaGA's attitude is an act. Now look at someone like MJ and that is pure 100% weirdness. He wasn't acting that was just who he is.

Taylor Swift is a whole different story. I just think this whole scolded puppy dog act needs to end soon. I think Taylor should take Jamie Foxx's advice towards Miley, do some drugs make a porno and grow up already. Not to mention all of T. Swift's songs are sort of creepy. All about watching some boy when he isnt looking and how he belongs to you. Hopefully "he" isn't black because that could be considered racist.. Owning people and what not.


I dont have much to talk about because my brain is dying slowly but surely everyday I sit on the couch and watch Make it or Break It marathons.

“I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.”

Myspace

Yes, I have a myspace. I know it's gay and it seems like only creepy people still go on it (since facebook is so much better). But I do occasionally check it. And to my surprise I had a few flattering inbox messages. I can't help it I'm just irresistable.

The first one was from a very intelligent young man

"hey, i kno u dont kno me but i wana get to kno you."

I dont really know how to respond to that. So i didn't. I like to keep them hanging anyways..

The next one is my fav. from someone really special..he knows how to sweet talk.

"jst wanted to say i think u are hella sexy and i would love to trade good pics wit u.......unless ur a shy girl lol"

This is just filled with class from the "hella sexy" to "good pic" to "wit you". First off I know I'm sexy thank you. Second off what the hell does good pics mean? Are you talking about nudes becuase I definately dont do that. Plus, myspace basically is just pictures...what does he think he is Chrissy VIP and I'm going to send him "special addition" Chrissy pictures. Finally, my favorite..the reference to me being a "shy girl". I bet you would like it if I were a shy girl...you pervert! And me not sending you pictures would have nothing to do with me being shy. It might have to do with the fact that I'm smart, you're creepy, and I have a little class (minus the constant reference to wangs). In no way shape or form would I not send you pictures becuase I'm shy, but rather becuase 1) you creep me out and 2) I don't send pics. period.

Then I looked at his profile out of curiosity..I wanted to know what what Prince Charming looked like..and it said he was 22. Now I just feel bad for him.

The AUDACITY people have. They think they can just message random people and ask them for pictures.

Note of the Day: Don't Myspace message people for "good pics"

Give me Jake (Gyllenhaal) or give me death!

Teachers

It's my favorite time of year--no not becuase of Christmas, snow, or holiday cheer, BUT becuase it's the time of the year where I get to evaluate all my professors/T.A.s and boy did I let them have it..haha. Actually, there were only three teachers I didn't like--not on a personal level--but rather as a teacher.

One of my teachers thought he was putting on a show every class- I felt like I was at the circus, which would be fine if I didn't get tested at the end. It's like he was always talking, but never making a point. He hardly used notes--and he did the worst thing a professor can do--change the slides before I got done copying them..that's the most annoying thing anyone can do. It enrages me and causes me to compulsively whisper FUCK to myself.

Another teacher talked so fast I couldnt even understand her (nor could the rest of the class). She would make little jokes, but no one knew what she said and she would giggle at it. She also had an annoying habbit of saying "ditto" all the freaking time which was "uber" annoying. Not to mention her powerpoint slides look like they were put together by someone with mental retardation...actually that's an insult to retarded people.

My last teacher was the worst. She was way too hard of a grader given the fact that she was a horrible teacher. It's okay if you suck at teaching-but you cant be a nazi when it comes to grading if you dont even know the material. Over all though I'd have to say my teachers weren't that bad and at least this semester I didnt have anyone who looked like a Grandma.

Note of the Day: It's cold outside.

You crack me up!

I am currently writing to you with partially frozen fingers. The reason my body is slightly frosted is due to the fact that the bus driver of the 22S Illini thought it'd be appropriate to snub me at the bus stop. I was standing at the stop, the way people are supposed to, and the bus didn't stop. I know the lady saw me because she looked at me and then continued to drive as if to say 'fuck you'. I know what you're thinking, I was probably at the wrong stop, but let me assure you I have gotten on the 22S Illini at that same stop and at that same time plenty of times before. I don't know what was wrong with that wretched old hag, but it's not my fault you're earning minimum wage driving around a bunch of snotty college kids who are going to graduate and possibly make 2x your salary. I didn't do that--you did!

On another note, I had to dodge a very lovely couple outside of Follinger Auditorium today. They were walking along like normal people when suddenly they stopped to bid each other farewell with an intimate kiss and hug..a lingering hug. I wanted to scream, "It's history class, it's not like he's going to war!" But instead I cowarded behind my giant blue Columbia winter jacket (compliments of my mom) and continued on my way.

While I was in my history class that I spoke of earlier (look above) I was surprised by how many cracks I saw in just an hour period. I saw black cracks, Asian cracks, white cracks, fat cracks, tan cracks, skinny cracks..all kind of cracks..it could be a Dr. Seuss book! I was appalled and a little disturbed ..I mean I'm not going to sit here and lie to you--yeah my crack has hung out on occasion--but not intentionally and when it did I was sure to cover it up. Now a days it's like people want you to look at it..well I don't want to look at it. So cover up your cracks it's cold out--plus you don't want your cheeks to get chapped.

Note of the day: Yeah so what, Tiger Woods is a cheater. I don't care and I'm sick of hearing about it. I mean, can you really name your kid Tiger and not expect him to be sexually aggressive?